My newest guilty pleasure is an insipid show on Bravo called Millionaire Matchmaker. The premise: Rich, socially retarded people are set up on dates w/ attractive but spiritually and mentally empty singles in a futile attempt to find a mate. The idea is that these wealthy guys are kind, genuinely decent people who just haven't found the right person yet. Turns out that most of them are just toolbags. In case you don't know that's a combination of a tool and douchebag.
I'm not stating that being rich makes you a self-interested toolbag (although there is often a direct correlation), but the men on her show would easily surpass the cordless drill, magnetic screwdriver and Joe the Plumber for "Tool of the Year" Award. I've stated in the past that if you base a romantic relationship on money you're kinda screwed up at the start. Millionaire Matchmaker demonstrates this excellently.
The woman in charge is Patti Stanger, an East coast Jew w/ freckly tits and an attitude 
that screams, "Bee-yatch"! As Bon Jovi said, she really does give love a bad name. WTF is a "3rd generation matchmaker" anyway? Her Grandma was setting up hot 1920's poon w/ a Vanderbilt? The fact that she preys on the insecurities and frivolities of rich assholes makes her a predatory bitch at best and a glorified pimp at worst. Did I mention that she also has freckly tits? Additionally she looks a lot like the WWE's Chyna, but w/ a worse wig. 3 comments about the program:
that screams, "Bee-yatch"! As Bon Jovi said, she really does give love a bad name. WTF is a "3rd generation matchmaker" anyway? Her Grandma was setting up hot 1920's poon w/ a Vanderbilt? The fact that she preys on the insecurities and frivolities of rich assholes makes her a predatory bitch at best and a glorified pimp at worst. Did I mention that she also has freckly tits? Additionally she looks a lot like the WWE's Chyna, but w/ a worse wig. 3 comments about the program:
1.I fail to see much of a distinction b/w Patti’s job and that of a pimp. She basically runs a high profile escort service. She has this rule of “no sex” but she’s setting up dudes w/ hot chicks and charging them for it… She’s a fucking pimp in my book, and not the good kind like Snoo
p Dog.
2.Her methods for “matchmaking” are hilarious. Telling a guy that his condo needs new furniture is considered “counseling”. Getting an appt at a hair salon is a makeover. I’m a fashion nightmare and even I could say to some dude: “Uhh.. Brush your teeth and shower. Use deoderant. Uhmmm… then compliment her looks. Next… ask her questions about herself?”
p Dog.2.Her methods for “matchmaking” are hilarious. Telling a guy that his condo needs new furniture is considered “counseling”. Getting an appt at a hair salon is a makeover. I’m a fashion nightmare and even I could say to some dude: “Uhh.. Brush your teeth and shower. Use deoderant. Uhmmm… then compliment her looks. Next… ask her questions about herself?”
3.Another great technique of Patti’s is getting men to lower their standards. Isn’t that terrific? You pay this bitch to set you up w/ a hot piece of ass and she says: “Sorry, you’re 48, you shouldn’t be dating 25 year olds”. Fuck you, clown! I’m a frigging millionaire. I didn’t come here so you could tell me I’m too old to get that, cuz w/ one phone call and $1000 I could have it now. Or one trip to Thailand and $5, either way.
Lastly I wanted to add that the very existence of a show like this makes me weep for the future. That people would devote time and thought to a self-important Jewess w/ sun spots on her boobs who doles out "expert advice" about love is truly sad. Stunning conclusion in Part II, coming soon. I have to get back to watching Rock of Love w/ Bret Michaels. That show rules.
