Suicide vs My Super Sweet Sixteen

One of the more popular programs on MTV, Destroyer of Souls, is My Super Sweet 16. I know I'm not the only person to say that that the kids featured on this show are pretty messed up. And I certainly know that I'm not the only person who tunes in to see just how far the monstrous jerks on Sweet 16 push the envelope. To start I'd like to describe the basic format of this show.


"You will never see a more wretched hive of scum and villainy"
-Obi-Wan Kenobi

The audience is first introduced to a self-entitled, thoughtless teen who insists that their birthday celebration should be treated with the adoration of the second coming of Christ. As if the day that they were shat from their mom's va-jay-jay is such an impt event that it must be held in great reverence. WTF did they ever accomplish to warrant such attention; most handjobs given to the JV Lacrosse team? And speaking of the mothers, the parents of these kids are usually unfit to even own a dog. The adults are completely subservient to any demand, and they are demands, made by their foul spawn. I place most of the blame on these cowardly and supremely dense parents.

Blame aside, the attitude of these teenagers is completely appalling. What may surprise viewers is that this behavior is accepted as completely normal by the family and especially the friends of the "chosen child" featured in each episode. This acceptance leads me to suspect that the friends depicted are from equally privileged backgrounds and possess the same skewed set of values.
These values become lucid as the show progresses.

Sweet 16 follows this brat as she selects a dress, decorations, a venue and often a guest star to perform at the event. In a display reminiscent of the golden goose scene from the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the girl will often insist something like, "But I neeeed the RED Ferrari, Daddy!" (with an English accent in my head, anyway). And like a bad car wreck, I am sickened yet I cannot help but stare with curiosity.


"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win."
-Stephen King


The party is what one would expect. After all it does cost around 200k. The entranced guests usually make such claims as, “This is the most amazing experience of my life”. Upon reflection of how exaggerated that statement is, I instantly realize that it’s probably true. Frequently there are mishaps like a guest having an altercation with the chosen brat, or the cake not getting to the party on time. Something trivial like that. Obviously the asshole gene prevalent in these kids cannot just dismiss a minor faux paus. The cameras catch most of the bitchy action in all its glorious repugnance. The birthday girl gets an obscenely expensive car at the closing, as all her friends cheer on, only further encouraging her deplorable behavior.

Near the end a voice over will frequently suggest something like, "It was the best day of my life and I'll never forget it. That my parents were willing to spend all that money on my birthday just proves how much they really love me". These young women already equate financial expense with love, a true emotion that they are not likely to experience in its pure form; in real life.

My 16th birthday was spent at a semi-fancy restaurant with my immediate family and about 10 of my best friends from high school. Afterwards my friends took me out for a movie and we stayed up all night in my Dad’s basement shooting pool and talking about how much money it would take to be a real life Batman, the pitfalls inherent in a flat tax system and unfairly dissecting flaws of the hot girls at our high school who wanted nothing to do with us (probably because we discussed the first two topics). Overall it was a pretty cool birthday for me. Sure it would’ve been nice to get a Bentley. But I thought that my birthday really was super sweet, and I didn’t have to act like a total douche for any of it, either.