Criticize me for having a sophomoric, low-grade sense of humor all that you want. People’s concept of funny is as variegated as their idea of fashion or music. And similar to those 2 fields, there is some agreement on things that are novel, difficult to reproduce or unequivocally creative. A girl I was messing around w/ in med school demonstrated this fact to me. There’s an ice skating event called “Skate on State” that is organized in the Chicago Loop every winter. I took this woman to the rink one afternoon and bought some hot chocolate for us. It was cold, but not frigid. And we sat very close, leather-gloved hand in leather-gloved hand. We were in that beginning stage where it was still exciting just to kiss. Then she started asking questions
… “You can only be young once. But you can always be immature” –Dave Barry
“So you can’t skate? Why are we here then?” She asked me in an innocent tone.
“No, I can skate very well. But the rental skates are shitty and the ice is cut up.” I replied.
“So you like watching the other people, huh? It is kind of romantic down here with the lights and the snow…” She started to drift and here is where I should’ve just shut the hell up.
“Kind of. I like watching the bad skaters fall. I think it’s hilarious. Particularly the fat ones, cuz they t
end to bounce a little off the ice. It’s awesome.” I was giddy with excitement as a 300lb 12 year-old came barreling toward our side of the rink with the stability of a drunk Parkinsons patient who just got off the Tilt-A-Whirl. She was mortified. Cue the music that plays when a kid misses the first Bozo bucket. Bottom line is that a lot of life is about social contracts and watching what you say. Here is a brief list of some of my encounters in the past 6-10 months. Note:These are real.
1.An African-American woman, who was secretary to the chief of medicine at a major Chicago hospital upon offering me coffee prior to a job interview:
“Do you take it black?”
2.My Father to me at our family Christmas dinner of 2007:
“Son, do you want me to toss your salad?”
3.Effeminate, energetic man at Whole Foods who was peddling samples on me:
“Why don’t you try my hard salami?”
4.My Dad again. This time discussing what to get his GF for Christmas:
“I’m thinking of giving her a pearl necklace…”
5.My former residency program director (who was female) talking about grand rounds:
“If I have to I will make you come.”
It’s like that a
wful Jennifer Gardner movie called 13 Going On 30 only reverse the numbers. And yes, I did rent that piece of shit when I lived in TX if that’s any indication of my social life during residency. Although Gardner is clearly very hot she sucks in anything not called Alias, and the writing was laughable; but not during the parts designed to be funny. But I could still relate to the character in that I often feel like a 12 year-old kid only with a muscular, adult body and massive genitalia. Ok not entirely. A kid can dream though, right?
3 comments:
ok, i'm officially addicted to your blog. i could not stop laughing!!
Good to see that someone other than my parents are reading this journal! Thanks, Shivangi.
hilarious.....can't stop laughing:)
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