Sanjay Gupta is Dope

As an American physician I’ve been impressed w/ Dr. Sanjay Gupta. I’ve seen him take flak for standing up to Michael Moore (AKA “fat Goebbels”) and refuting such stupidity as the dangers of current vaccinations & the threat of anthrax as a terrorist weapon. He’s faculty at Grady w/ credentials at Emory. Bottom line is that he a real, practicing doctor. His experience as a field correspondent has honed his already excellent communication skills.

Despite this impressive CV, he wrote a really subpar piece in TIME explaining why he would vote “no” on the legalization of pot. I won’t turn this into a 1st semester in college essay entitled, “Why Pot should be Legalized; What, are you Reta’ded or Something?” although that is what I would call said essay, if I pulled a Sam Beckett and had to put right what once went wrong.

Dr. Gupta correctly displays the medical literature: patients w/ glaucoma, Alzheimer’s or chemo-induced nausea exceed morbidity milestones w/ marijuana. He fails to mention the same benefits in AIDs and cancer patients who suffer from protein and muscle wasting or the college kid who just finished finals and is using book money to buy a Papa Johns Pizza. Pot does help these people. But he further asserts that many who push for legalized pot don’t have these serious medical conditions b/c, “Many of them just want to get stoned legally”.

I don’t need to check w/ Ziggy to see if this one flies. No shit, people want to get high legally! It would be a lot better than having to pull a MacGyver and go all "Top Secret" everytime you want to smoke a jay. My biggest gripe here is that Dr. Gupta begs the question that since smoking pot is bad for you, it should be illegal.

It’s like the lawyer asking the plaintiff, “What did you do after you murdered your wife?” when no one is really sure if this is the man who did the deed. Sure, pot is bad for you. Does that mean it should be illegal? I would argue that pot is much less destructive than tobacco, and certainly less so than alcohol. Heck it’s probably less “bad for you” than half of the McDonalds menu (and I’m a Nuggnut, too).

"Et tu, Sanjay?" -Julius Ceasar (sorta)

Dr. Gupta still seems like the best candidate for the job, but when it comes to politics that’s like winning a Taco Bell contest for “Feces w/ largest circumference”. Smoking is already banned in Chicago, and they are working on an obesity tax in NY. Before you start accusing me of being a bitter, chain-smoking fat ass, I’ll let you know that I am NOT fat (My BMI is 24.95, actually). But when you start taxing Gatorade and Coke for making kids fat…. That’s a little too 1984 for me. And until I finish my Quantum Leap accelerator, there’s not much I can do about it.

The Realization that You are Not Special

Growing up my parents and teachers led me to believe that I could be anything. I guess that means they all did a good job. As I turn 30 this month, I wanted to write about a number of things that I will never do but secretly fantasized about while I was still a kid. I didn’t just come up with this list now, it’s been jumping around in my head for some time. But since I am nearing that inevitable mid-life crisis that is bound to hit around 2019, I thought I’d brush it off again.

List of Things I always wanted to do but now realize I never will:
1.Hit a homerun out of Wrigley Field
2.Make out with Brooke Shields
3.Be the President of the United States
4.Be the President of anything other than a Quantum Leap fan fiction club
5.Slam dunk a basketball
6.Consume 30 White Castle hamburgers in a single sitting
7.Meet Jesse Jackson and call him “n-word” to his face and then run like hell
8.Be asked to guest star on The Muppet Show
9.Perform in a band with Eric Clapton playing lead guitar
10.Successfully navigate through an asteroid field, despite the odds being 3,720:1

Lofty goals, I know, but at some point in my youth I thought I would get to do all of them. The file in my mind is much longer. Some of the remaining items (not listed) are actually doable. I can run a marathon. Shit, I ran almost 20miles this summer before fucking up my knee. I could be on Jeopardy and win a true Daily Double. I can be published in Science, you never know! One day I might beat “Dragon Force” on Guitar Hero. And last time I checked Jesse Jackson still lives in Chicago, so look out for #7.