Previously I wrote about Bernie and defended his ethnicity as being wholly separate from his crime. Nonetheless he’s one of the biggest pricks in recent history. Madoff plead guilty to all federal charges w/ no plea bargain. Sounds like he’s accepting his fate and admitting guilt? You think he’s sorry?
Wrong. This piece of shit knew that even w/ a plea bargain he’d still be in jail for the rest of his jizz-gargling life. He did this so his family and friends won’t need to perjure their asses off in court. Plus he doesn’t need to say a word to the Feds about where he stashed the loot. 
He wore a Kevlar vest to the courthouse. People want to kill him and I understand. But it’s like the end of David Fincher’s Se7en where I’m yelling to the Brad Pitt character: “Don’t do it, you dumb fuck! Don’t shoot him!” Death is too easy for this scum; same as for Kevin Spacey (not the actor… he’s rather talented, but I still prefer Hackman’s Lex Luthor).
Furthermore it’s uncreative to imagine Bernie in solitary confinement for the rest of his jizz-gargling life. The only visitors allowed would have to be Lexington Steele, Peter North and a troika of well-endowed, Black men who each consume a Cialis and Vodka mixer before BID gangbangs begin.
“We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison!”
–Michael Bolton, Office Space
Believe it or not severe, repetitive corn-holing would get redundant and sequentially less effective. Even the guy who cleans up Port-O-Potties gets used to the smell after a while. The key to a good punishment, as w/ so many things (sex, food and music come to mind), is variety. Next is my 5 day punishment schedule for Bernie. I think it's relatively creative. Did I mention that jizz-gargling is involved?
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