Does Your iPhone do this?

My new job is buying me a freaking cell phone and footing the monthly bill! I researched mainly Blackberry and iPhone. I found a few webpages that made the same comparison. Basically:If you’re texting a ton and using your cell for business- pick a Blackberry. If you like watching monkeys smell their finger on Youtube, checking traffic flow via GPS or downloading a Jedi lightsaber app- pick an iPhone.

So iPhone it is! Not much of a contest, really. But neither one has a feature that I would love to have in a cell. It’s a little thing I call the “Fuck you, Jobu” option. If you’ve never seen the 1989 film Major League, there’s a great scene where the foreign-born Pedro Cerrano character cannot hit a curveball and says defiantly to his God (Jobu): “If you do not help me now, I say fuck you Jobu!” (pronounced Joe-boo).

Yes, fuck you Jobu indeed… Using this plan, you could block any calls that you wanted and even have a wildcard feature so you could block out entire area codes. I realize that many will argue that w/ Caller ID it doesn’t really matter. But as Bill Clinton said in 1996:”Nothing matters more.” Only he was talking to Monica Lewinsky about ball sucking.

Not only would your phone automatically block any predefined numbers, the dick calling you would get a message in the same voice as Pedro Cerrano: “I say fuck you, Jobu!” and then hang up on them. Bottom line:any chode who you had anticipated to call you would instead be redirected to a message telling them to screw an imagined deity. Despite my love for Russian games of skill, I would trade in Tetris for Jobu any day of the wk.

It'd also be cool if any emails written on my iPhone would say, "This was sent from my cold, clammy balls" instead of the classic "This was sent from my iPhone". I guess I could always manually write in that part about my balls.

Edit:This was written by my cold, clammy balls.