The Medical Miracle of the Suleman Octuplets

It seems that a medical miracle happened in California: A woman gave birth to 8 kids via IVF! If you really think this is a medical miracle, I’d like you to consider the Plastic Surgery Queen known as “Cat Lady” as a medical miracle. Her doctors should be proud. By ‘proud’, I mean ‘kicked in the nutsack by David Beckham’.





Bend it!





Background:Nadya Suleman is a 33y/o single mom who already has 6 kids (the youngest are 2y/o twins). One child is “special needs”, although I doubt that Harvard professors will think it’s too special when they see this poor kid’s college admission essay is written in Crayola. Nadya lives w/ her parents and has been unemployed since 2001. She’s been receiving disability checks owing to a back injury since then. An LA Times article revealed that Suleman was diagnosed w/ major depression w/ suicidal ideations.
I'd love to know what was going on in the minds of her doctors:

Ok… my patient is a clinically depressed, single, disabled and unemployed woman with 6 kids under age 8… Sounds like the BEST FUCKING CANDIDATE EVER for in-vitro fertilization!!! But wait, let’s not stop there. Let’s give her EIGHT MORE kids!! Call the Nobel committee!

Funny- the govt finds her physically/mentally unfit to work, and even PAYS HER NOT TO WORK, but she’s fit to be a mother to 14 kids. Still the science behind this feat is amazing. I am impressed her doctors were so successful. But is this really a success?

Does anyone think that these kids are going to have a normal, healthy upbringing? I can tell you that they were born 9 wks premature and weighed 1-3 lb. each. Two of the babies were intubated and put on ventilators. None of this sounds healthy or normal to me so far!

“Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.” -Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park

Suleman is scheduled to appear on many media outlets. Surely Oprah is on that list. She’s asked for the figure of $2million for interviews and commercial sponsors to help raise her family. But this is no family, it’s a litter. Except dogs sleep 16hrs a day, drink out of the toilet and die at age 12. Kids are a little bit more work.

This didn’t happen on 34th street. And it didn’t happen in a NY ice rink during the 1980 Winter Olympics. This is no miracle. If Nadya Suleman truly wanted to care for these kids, provide for them and give each one the love and attention they deserve, she never would’ve done any of this in the first place.