This Bitch I Knew in Texas

Note:The title for this piece was carefully chosen, so please don’t think that I didn’t consider: “This Woman” or “This Person” as alternatives. Wait until the end b4 you judge.

After 1 month of my medical residency in Texas, I met someone at the pool of the same apt. complex. She was traditionally pretty, blonde and I could tolerate her conversational banter for at least 60 mins at a single stretch. These qualifications alone made her attractive, given my residential desperation. Plus she had this sweet, little Chihuahua who really took a liking to me.

One month later and the deal was sealed. She asked me to go to Austin w/ her for a weekend getaway. I complied and we met up in her parent’s hometown. We went hiking at Round Rock. We even took the dog! Austin was freaking cool. Nice restaurants and chic hangouts… it reminded me of Chicago but w/ a KKK flavor. We rendezvoused w/ her parents at this Caribbean place and I was surprised that her cheap ass Dad didn’t offer to pitch in for any part of the $300 bill.

What also surprised me was my “girlfriend’s” infection w/ describing me as her “doctor boyfriend”. Her Dad even called me “Son” like three times, and I swear to God that I almost punched him in the mouth after the 2nd infraction.

When this horrific dinner was finished we went back to her parent’s house (although I offered twice to get a hotel rm). I admit that I felt awkward banging Little Miss Sunshine in her inaugural bedroom, but I was frustrated and horny. This is never a good combination.
Immediately after climaxing, I heard a hacking, cough-like sound and soon found her Chihuahua licking the pillow next to my head. She exhaled, in post-orgasm satisfaction, and declared: “Oh, is he doing that again?”

Me:"What do you mean?”

Bitch:”Did he vomit all over the place again?”

As soon as she said that, I realized that this sick-ass dog had puked all over my pillow while I was fucking her owner and had resumed licking up said puke. I didn’t wait until the morning. I put my contacts in and left right there.
She objected and insisted that I stay until the am.

Me:”I’m not sleeping next to puke and a bitch”

I wasn’t referring to the dog, and I think that she knew it.